you down with FCP?

There is a cool easter egg in final cut pro where a talking yak will appear on your timeline if the computer is left sitting untouched with FCP open for long enough. Grass grows on the timeline, then this little yak walks out and starts eating it. Finally he starts saying (with thought bubbles, like a cartoon) the most nonsensical and surreal things. He will happily sit there and eat and talk until you move your mouse, at which point his eyes bug out of his head and he runs away.

The first time I saw him was during a multi-night editing sprint. He appeared on a computer I had been using for some compressions and I thought I had lost my mind. Luckily I wrote down some of the things he was saying and googled them.

How to look for his tracks
Even if you don’t know how to call him, you can find his thoughts in one of the fcp application files: Open up Final Cut Pro by right clicking on it and then select ‘Show Package Contents’

Next navigate to Contents/Resources/Final Cut Pro.rsrc and open it with textedit. Scroll down and you’ll see Bruce’s quotes! They are also all quoted at the bottom of this post for your ease of reading.

How to find Bruce
Just in case you have things to do on your computer and can’t leave it running untouched for days at a time, there are also shortcuts on how to “call bruce”. While it isn’t publicly known how to call him in fcp 6 or 7, it is for most of the older versions. Here’s how to call him on 4.5 and 5. Oh yeah, and fun fact: the reason why he is called bruce is because one of his quotes is “You can call me Bruce the Wonder Yak.”

Here are two images from Nate at Asgood & Better Marketing just for good measure.

_____Final Cut Pro 4.5____
Press [Option-J]
Type [Shift+b] then “ruce”
The search box will now display “[shift icon]Bruce.” Erase the shift icon using the arrow keys and backspace only. Do not press return.
A button should now appear named “Call the Yak.” You can drag this button into any window where it will be added to the toolbars.
Press the button.

_____Final Cut Pro 5.x____
Select [Videoscopes] from the [Tools] item on the main menu
In the Videoscope window, hold the CTRL key and click multiple times
Bruce should appear at the bottom of the screen

Bruce Quotes – Full list
If we can’t ship this puppy by then, we might as well be herding yaks.
I’m glad it’s getting weird again. I didn’t understand it when it wasn’t weird.
More lizards, fewer bugs.
It’s not awful by some of our standards.
I speak for us, all three of me.
With a rotary attachment like that it’s already interesting to me.
That’s the pain that keeps on giving.
Am I going to get killed if I walk through here?
I’ve got a slimy stick
The yellow snow ones have been really popular.
The teeth marks, you know, they just don’t say squirrel.
Did we just have an HR moment?
We’re still almost done again.
You’ll notice a lack of crystal balls in this office.
We have a plan, we just need to tackle him.
It’s hard to be mad in fuzzy slippers.
Do you have an chickens that you want to sacrifice at this tim?
Exploding trail mix strikes again.
Someone barfed performance all over our shoes.
Call it art and buy a frame.
Are we letting him modify code?
All through art school… I was clean!
If you’d filmed it right the first time, you wouldn’t have to cut it.
I don’t think I was tall enough to get on this ride.
The answer is violence.
Programatically generated violence?!?
Stimulants for everyone.
I have enough seeding in my life. I don’t need them in my grapes.
What’s next for our headless friend?
They’re too busy rioting.
All of our balls are effectively juggled.
But they looked cute online.
It’s not like you put it in your mouth.
Once you change how you think it makes sense.
Are headless yak bites appropriate for younger viewers?
So maybe you can tell me how this is supposed to work?Is Marketing under NDA?
I’m sooo a rock star already.
Why does feature creep have to sound so ominous?
You know they were peeing in the pond and now no one wants to drink.
Stop messing with the tail of my stuffed animal.
Drop ribs, not frames.
Holy shh…oes!
If we’re not going to do it we should do it now. If we are going to do it we should wait.
I’d be less concerned if it weren’t for the squeeling animal sound that preceded it.
Just put a fresh diaper on it and ship it!
Who is Mark Good anyway?
He’s kind of middle-aged, but he might not have a head.
Semi-transparent hangover.
Your brothers and sisters still exist when you aren’t on the phone with them.
That’s a better finger than all five.
It’s easy to rock when you’re in a great band.
The best thing about living in San Francisco is that you have time to make a full build on your way home.
Understanding threads in a C++ world is like getting a root canal.
This is terribly unsatisfying.
It’s far more satisfying if you throw it at someone.
That would be better on a hot dog bun.
The C switch statement: Mmmmmm! Chock full of nooses!
That would be like crossing the streams or something.
Mmmm… Chicago style pizza!
I’ve got my blankie, I’m good to go.
A lot of this job is mental.
“Mostly clockwise, sometimes reverses…”
What’s the sound of one luma clamping?
I just wanna be in the app!
Oh, rough and woeful music which we have! Cause it to sound!
The Yak is a delightful creature… rather like a visit with a bovine Confucious
Nobody might know anything.
I don’t know, somehow it just works.
How do you tempt a Yak?
Chocolate covered espresso beans!
We’re not the engineers you’re looking for. Move along, move along.
The little cartoon man is messing with my head!
Speed kills, but sync maims.
It’s compatible with it’s legacy.
Twix bars: A brand-new bad habit!
Many Yaks were exploited during the creation of this product.
I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of nuclear weapons in this product.
I’m concerned because the cow sounded pretty threatening.
I am NOT a mad cow!
I don’t care who’s on the other end of the phone… Hang it up!
I have deniable plausibility.
Note to the galley: Romulan Cosmos no longer to be served on school nights!
Carrot and a footprint.
Asteriskified?
Where’s a single Yak to go now that the Edit Bar is gone?
Aaargh, I forgot to pay the rent!
When you have a car that’s that uncool, you just gotta drive stupid.
Did it happen with yesterday’s umbrella?
When can I do color correction by the pool?
Are you filling his head with chocolate?
The lights going off at midnight, it’s almost like a slap in the face… Hey, stupid, it’s tomorrow!
Yeah, that’s covered under item #152.
I was probably the last one to see him alive.
We’re not play’in poker here.
All I want for Christmas is a stack trace!
Think PIKE!
Don’t look at me. They’re not my flying monkeys.
What, were you expecting “Moo” or something?
This is not a Yak Bite.
Somehow I can’t convince myself that this isn’t all just one big hack.
At least Spock had stone knives and bear skins!
It’s a single malt problems.
Everyone drops it the first time.
OK… who’s job is it to write the Flush Wizard?
Controlled evil is not necessarily bad.
Pinky, are you thinking what I’m thinking? I think so, Brain… but can you do that with a Yak?
It’s like a gob of peanut butter for the roof of your brain.
Savor the unbridled complexity that we’ve crafted for you.
Look, there’s no such thing as a ‘Clacker’!
Don’t panic – everything is under control. There is no fire. Have a great day.
Get rid of the spasmic “U”.
That’s my fault originally, but many others are to blame since.
The disco ball is spinning, but no one’s home.
There were many lessons learned during the early years.
That movie had plot holes big enough to drive whole other movies through!
Please refrain from sucking.
I’m highly in favor of putting in code to do stuff.
I want to see lots of deliminators.
Can I get that for free?
Wrong thinking will be punished. Right thinking will be as quickly rewarded.
All right, Who replaced the Oscillation OverThruster with an AutoSyncDetector?
Will, you’re scaring the children.
Didn’t this used to be purple?
Hellooooo! I’m trying to edit here!
Remember– thingies are free!
…and so forth and so on…
That and a folded napkin will level a chair.
Oops, It works!
Free drink? That just cost me $200!
Don’t lick your zipper.
I went to pull it out and it was like three feet long.
Kinda cool; kind of a hack. Like so much of this business.
Salad is a lot of work!
The opposite of “weird” is “boring”.
Do or do not. There is no don’t.
Thirty quatloos says it crashes during launch!
Check your Caps Lock key.
…by an expert. Worse, a committee of experts.
There’s a disease going around in QA right now. Stay away from those guys.
What? You were expecting a paper clip?
Personally, I _like_ editing under a tree!
We’re going to leave the underwear in the tutorial.
Ok, Nobody prints, Nobody gets hurt!
Please hold for the next available consumer.
Cows didn’t have dynamite and steam shovels.
This is so lame it hurts.
She’s speaking in tongues.
I was the innocent victim of a drive by coding.
It’s all wired up… we just have to turn it on.
Where’s the ‘Poof’ manager?It’s the international symbol for “Your zipper’s open”.
There exists, but you can’t get there from here.
There was a memo?
That’s a little too non-virtual for this group.
These buttons are… Bonk with Wrench, I Love Lightning, and Enjoy Fireworks from Lakefront.
It also doesn’t read French novels.
I am SO 29.97 all the way!
Well, and 7 is more than 6.
Two “its” can be a “them”.
I assume you stayed away from the snapping turtles in the pool.
I’ve been here before
You can call me Bruce the Wonder Yak.

~ by ross on January 18, 2010.

Posted in FCP
Tags: bruce the wonder yak, bull, cow, easter egg, FCP, final cut pro, weird